Ramblings, Senseless and Obsolete

In which I think about Poohs, Piglets, and Eeyores

Or how I find myself caught between a rock and a hard place.

I used to be a Pooh. Happy. Upbeat. In the last few years I think I have slid into being Piglet--a bit of a worry wort. (wart? I think I like wort better. More plant-y, less icky virus-y. But I digress.) Anyway! I want to be Pooh again. I really do. And I really am trying. Although I am of the opinion the best Poohs don't try they just are.

But I have this Eeyore in my life. Sort of on the fringes of my life because being around this person really sucks me down into this mire of fretting and stewing, this quicksand of worry and depression. So to tell you the truth, I have avoided her. I have tried to keep all contact short, but that doesn't always work. Six or eight months ago she dropped into the studio for 20 minutes and I cried for 8 hours. Not very proportional. But she really hit some tender spots that I was already very worried and upset about.

It's not like this is a bad person--quite the contrary. But she sees the cup as half empty and as she talks about it I can feel myself getting sucked in.

Here's the problem. Back at the eventful meeting 6 or 8 months ago, I said we would go out for coffee or something to catch up. And since then I've been too busy. And it's approaching the point that I am being rude. Okay, I know. I passed rude about 4 months ago. But MAN! I just can't bring myself to go. Maybe I blogged about this at the time so this sounds like a rerun. But if TV can do so can I, right? And this person isn't a drinker so it's not like we can go out for cocktails where I really wouldn't give a crap what she says. Although it's probalby good because if I had a glass of wine or two in me I might forget and call her Eeyore and tell her to drag her little raincloud to someone else because we're already flooded up here.

So ick. Ick ick ick. I mean what should I do? Should I pick a weekend when I think I will feel like being all depressed and get together with this person? How many of us look at the calendar and say, oh, September 17th I think I will be in the mood for a bad day? But I hate just avoiding her. And I sure am not going to go all honest and say, "You know, you're a real Debbie Downer."

I can get along with just about anyone. I can smile and not say "Shut your pie hole you idiot" even if I am screaming it inside. But there is something about this person that can just push every button of worry and insecurity I own. I wish she would just "forget" about this. But she mentioned it again recently and I think I will have to go through with it soon.

Addendum to previous post

Okay. These aren't exactly what I was looking for. Maybe the quanitity of books was strictly expository rather than a quote. Or maybe I imagined it. Both great possibilities. Anyway. Here are a couple CS Lewis reading type quotes

No book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally worth reading at the age of fifty.

It is a good rule, after reading a new book, never to allow yourself another new one till you have read an old one in between.

Reliving my childhood

Tomorrow I go back to work and can I just say Woo Hoo!!!!! While tomorrow when I drag my sorry backside home I will be neither wooing nor hooing, today I am looking forward to getting back to it. Even if I do also have a dentist appt. tomorrow. (Thankfully not with Dr. Mengela of the root canal earlier this year.)

I know I have said it before, but I really love audio books. I can do my computer work or make dinner or run the sweeper or fold laundry and still "read." I picked up a bargain book to take to the hospital so I wouldn't be bored. And I figured an audio book would be more entertaining than a real book because I could listen to it and doze in and out. I picked "Little Women." I got it for my 9th birthday. And instantly this because my favorite book. Well, until I read Jane Eyre when I was a freshman then it was my 2nd favorite book. For a while I read this every winter. But it has probably been 8-10 years since I did that. So it was sort of new to me again. I forgot how incredibly sappy and over the top the romance between Jo and the professor was at the end. But I loved it anyway.

Right now I am listening to this production of Tom Sawyer. We picked this up years ago for some long car trip and the whole family loved it. It's a perfect marriage between narrator and author in my opinion. Cannot recommend this enough.

So this begs the question, do you reread books? Out of every 10 books I read, I bet 5-7 of them are rereads. I have my favorites that I read over and over and over. (Can anyone say Harry Potter?) I was talking with a group of friends a few weeks ago and there were a lot of readers present. But few of them re-read books. I once read that CS Lewis was a big re-reader. I just spent 5 minutes (woo hoo lots of time, right?) looking for the quote. I think it was something like for every new book he read he would make himself reread 5 or 10. Can't remember at all! But I do remember  being shocked by the quote. And now this is exactly where I find myself.

There is a line Audrey Hepburn says in Charade, "I already know an awful lot of people and until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else." To which Cary Grant replies, "Well, if anyone goes on the critical list, let me know." I guess this is  a little about how I feel about books sometimes. I can't keep getting new favorites if that means I will have to forget about an old one.

And doesn't it say something about me that I can't remember a quote by CS Lewis but can quote lines from movies verbatim? Yup. It says something.

Anyway, if you are reading a great book, tell me what it is. I've earned a few new books!

My baby's first day of school

Today was my baby's first day of public school.

And I'm so proud of myself. I didn't even cry.

Yes, Austin (on the left) my first baby went off to his first day of college today. He's going to Ivy Tech (a vocational school here in IN) and is studying restaurant management. He's 19 years old and this is the first time he hasn't been home schooled.

All seemed to go well. He is very excited about his cooking class and already hates his algebra class. Pretty typical, in my opinion. He takes after me. Eric does calculus in his spare time for fun. Yes, I am a saint. Thank you for your continued prayers. (LOL! Love you honey!)

I'm continuing my surgical recovery. The plan was for me to take this week off of work. I've finally learned not to push myself to get back to my routine quickly. One does not recover under those conditions. One relapses. So while on one hand I am proud of myself for doing the right thing, it is only Monday and I am bored out of my skull. By 10 am I was asking kids to bring the vacuum cleaner to my bedroom so I could sweep behind the bed. Was severely lectured by Eric so now I am trying to keep busy doing things he will be happy with. I've bought a bunch of stuff off iTunes. I joined a cookbook book club (I've even rolling my own eyes at me for that!) I've got a bunch of Christmas presents in my cart at Amazon. At this rate I should be broke by Wednesday. It's just not fun sitting around not being allowed to do anything! I've got these steri-tapes holding my incision together and they are rather "spotted" if you know what I mean so I can't really go out in public without grossing people out. Time for a scarf I think. So that is all that is new on the recovery front.

Do you like the picture of my oldest 3? Austin, Maclain and Melanie. We had this huge marathon family portrait session a few weeks ago. I got a bunch with the whole group together and then a bunch with the groups broken down. Did I mention this before? I really can't remember. And of course, Melanie is a bit of a smart alec and this is the one of the 3 of them. I really don't know where she gets that.

I will leave you with one of the whole family.

Just a catch up

I'm home from the hospital. Well, I got home Friday morning. I'm still pretty tired, naturally, but am getting a little better. It hasn't been the smoothest running process--blood pressure issues in the hospital, and now I've had an allergic reaction to my pain med.  But you know, it really could be worse! I have appreciated all prayers and good thoughts. I will check in again soon. It's time to go back to bed! LOL!

Catch up

I got an email over the weekend (Hi Traci!) Making sure I am still among the living. And as my health practically has me one foot in the grave (Yes, you can roll your eyes at that!) I figured I ought to update.

My thyroidectomy is Thursday morning. So I have been trying to catch up around the house and at the studio to prepare for a week of inactivity.

Last week I had to go back to my hometown for the funeral of the father of a friend. It really hit home that now we are getting to the age where this will be happening more and more often. Very sad. But that was an all day affair and in this terrible heat and with my goiter I was wiped out!

This weekend I went the the now annual "goddess weekend." It started as a party for one of my oldest friends (Ha ha! I said you were an OLD friend Gwen!) And it was such fun they decided to make it an annual event. So we stayed at a cottage on Lake Michigan. It was so much fun! I didn't really know anyone else there at first, but now I think of all of them as friends. Which is always a blessing, making friends is.

I took the above picture walking upstairs in the cottage near sunset. And the sun glittered though this cut glass sugar bowl that was placed in the window. I had to run get my camera before the sun sank out of view of the window. Sometimes I get too busy or too weighed down by life to see these little sparks of beauty all around me. And when that happens, I feel the world is an overwhelming place and not the gift God made it to be. I haven't taken too many of these "just because it's pretty" pictures in the last year. But I think I will print this one and keep it somewhere that I can see it regularly. To remind me.